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The truth is that there is not much for me to say, but I got to say it anyways. Otherwise I have no idea on how I am going to deal with this. It´s been two years since I felt like this for the last time, and I´m afraid this time it is even worst. There are certain details in your everyday routine, and when you come to acknowledge them and become confident with them; it can freak the hell out of you realizing there is something out of place. I always had an idea on how much I like you, and how a nice person you are and how much I like spending time with you. You know, for some reason even though we don't hang out that much, you're my friend, and to me… that is important and I love you. I mean I fall in love with you. Guess what? I am really scared, as I told you before, it has been two years since I felt like this for the last time, and before that it was 4, and in between that and the first there was like a six year period. I know, it seems as if I had fall in love too many times. The truth is, I have never been corresponded and it is so hard for me to feel this. It is even harder to realize the fact that my feelings are for you. I had promise myself too many times not to fall in love unless I was loved, wanted, desired and cherish first. It is so sad but I can only think on the same story repeating all over again. First me falling in love, then there is nothing going on; and in the end… I am left here with a broken heart before the tale even started. Dealing with the collateral damages for it is not only my heart that hurts, but there are a couple bruises on my ego, vanity and self-esteem.
Yesterday, while I was surfing through my social networks I found out my first search result on them was your name. Every time I typed a letter your name has in, there was your picture. Later that night, I realized that for the last three or four days my last call was to you. Worst, I noticed I got no answer. This morning as I wake up my first thought was on you. I spent the entire morning sitting on the office, being available to every instant messaging option just waiting you to make a move. Then I took note on the fact that despite the calls, and my availability until now you haven't call.
So… you know you are screwed when your first search result on every social network… but you know you are screwed big time when you realize "He is not that into you."
[Aquí debería ir una foto que tomó un amigo pero el joven tiene derechos reservados; compartiría el link pero cuando lo conocí era sumamente discreto, reservado y un tanto mamón en compartir su material (literario o fotográfico) y como tengo rato de no platicar con él no se siga firme en su afán de permanecer en silencio y en secreto. Así pues dejo el espacio abierto para quien encuentre esa foto, o cualquier otra que se le parezca.]
